Marriage Advice

If I was a marriage counselor

Is the goal of being married happiness? I guess yes. Are you working for your relationship or is the relationship working? Are you loving together or living together? Is your partner supposed to elevate you, push you to become better or just complement you? I will not forget to ask if we are changing for our relationships or we are staying true to ourselves, Joe.

Marriage ends in divorce if it doesn’t last. Fact. The nature of marriage is that you are supposed to say yes and maintain the decision before you get handed over the list of the things you said yes to. Worse, you’re made to say vows that will confine you in that bullshit incase you think otherwise when you find out it’s actually one.

Seven out of ten marriages fail and couples still hope they’re among the three yet everything they do is just like what the rest are doing. Leaves me wondering why people are still getting married anyway.

A Kenyan afro-pop band by the name Sautisol in one of their hit songs said that, in a world where women are looking for men who have emotion, it’s easy to meet men who have a lot of money instead. While women get away with good physique at the expense of character. What are the odds that you will get the right person with the right qualities?

There is a man somewhere who cannot handle their personal care such as hygiene, grooming, orderliness, cleanliness or even tracking of time in a day but they think they are ready to get married and ridiculously have kids. No, you need superpowers as his wife to babysit him and the kids or else the marriage will become a foreign concept to you.

Most weddings I attend look like it cost my whole year budget or more. One of the most important skills we all need in life is the ability to manage yourself financially. I’m just figuring out if I’d fit in the bracket if I’m going to spend my three years savings in a day to feed people and pay for decor. In short, weddings are expensive and if you’re not rich it might do you more harm than good. Let’s not even talk about the cost of building homes and daily expenditure to raise a family. Why would you hate being single anymore?

Communicate respectfully until you’re no longer taken seriously. Then you can just become the disrespecter of disrespect like you ought to.

Never invalidate one another in marriage. It changes how they feel about themselves and inturn how they feel about you. Move on from arguments or if possible just never argue. If you can’t do this move on.

A partner is reliable if they can come through for you at all times in everything. Period. It’s your duty to make your partner feel safe and secure. As a man if you don’t hit the gym don’t get married cause how will you beat men who are after your woman? As a woman if you don’t stock your fridge with food stay single. No man is staying in a house without food. It’s scary sis.

Compromise and never give up. Isn’t this what old couples told you on your wedding day? I’m willing to understand to what extent and or where we draw the line or it’s literally a no go zone even if you’re burning and everything is shitty in your marriage.

Assume the best of one another and remember your commitment, is one thing I totally agree with until your S/O stops doing the same.

It’s often said that marriage is a scam but you choose to believe they married the wrong person and with your right person, you will be among the three out of ten marriages. However, just to be safe, in your vows please remember to say yes till disrespect sets in and or I no longer feel safe.

But I am not a marriage counselor

Best of luck.