13 Guilty pleasures I can’t easily stop indulging in

Coffee is considered by many to be a guilty pleasure for health reasons. Guilty pleasures are actually not bad habits to our own selves but are considered to be advisable to stop because they are normally things that are considered weird or unexpected. We enjoy doing them because they bring positive emotions and improve your well being.

1. Sleeping in late. This is my new norm since I started working. It just doesn’t feel right waking up before 8 in the AM on weekends, holidays or off-days. That brunch feels so right and calming. Sometimes I stay in bed the whole day and although sometimes it gives me anxiety being in bed while everyone else is out and about I must admit it also feels like a privilege at the same time.

2. Watching true crime and solving serial killer documentaries, podcasts or movies before answer is revealed. It’s easy to spend hours watching outlandish things , but not quite as simple to explain these hobbies to your loved ones. I’m absorbed by true crime and I want to understand what drives them and the next possible action, what it is like being involved in that but you realize this isn’t justice to my mind at times due to tension and anxiety but well, I love spending hours watching and or listening to such.

3. Eating a gallon of ice cream. I understand indulging in a bunch of ice cream is a popular shameful delight but I cant compare it with the mood it strikes in me. Ice cream is an instant happy mood booster and the sugar in it tells me I can do all things without my past haunting me. I literally have zero stress after eating ice cream.

4. Listening to someone with an accent. That being just an example, I find it intriguing to listen and pronounce words in their original accents. I’ll be repeating after someone in silence as they talk to me and engage them more to just have them talking all through. “Iliwa chingu” in the very informal and impolite from my Korean friend gets me just happy and exited all through the chit chat.

5. Listening to a catchy song on repeat. This one! This weeks obsession is Taylor Swifts’, Anti-Hero. While playing songs on repeat for weeks might seem unusual to most people, some songs just grab my soul and threaten me if I don’t play loops of the same song and know every line, pitch and pauses in the song. I’m playing that song at work, while cooking, in the bathroom, on the road and as background sound while sleeping. I acknowledge the captivity that comes with it.

6. Online shopping. It’s very common to do online shopping in this century regardless of it still being considered unusual by other people but do you spend hours and effort researching products of your taste and price only to add them to cart but never purchase them? My peers tell me most online stuff do not give the satisfaction as the ones you get to physically choose and no I actually don’t understand them cause I’m hardly going to experience the outcome of online shopping.

7. Do I consider the cost of online food delivery? Despite paying too much to have a fast food which is considered unhealthy, there is convenience in pulling a list of nearby restaurants and by just a click someone comes knocking with your food is here greetings. Saving the time you spend to cook for an extra hour of sleep or one extra episode is something too.

8. Reading celebrity drama and reality shows. We all agree reality shows are not real it’s acting but there is fun in watching the drama build up and the different personalities reaction to everyday life. Its more fun when it’s a celebrity involved because already we have a certain perspective and expectations from them. So yes there is juice in their dramas especially those that aren’t for chasing clout.

9. Procrastinating. I have done a blog about how much I know about procrastination here https://wwwruthogutu.design.blog/2020/07/07/how-much-do-you-know-about-procrastination/ and I’d tell you I haven’t done a lot since then due to procrastination and I’ll admit that despite the panic, anxiety and fear that comes with it, I still postpone a lot with lots of excuses and funny justifications to my actions.

10. Drinking on a weeknight. I find it fun and more enjoyable when I’m drinking on odd days and odd hours like a Tuesday evening. I wouldn’t overdo it but just enough is differently good and makes me feel elated. I must admit this could be detrimental and I’m very cautious to not have a routine that accommodates this but after a very long day at work a glass of wine can do wonders.

11. Buying flowers for myself. Agreeably noted flowers are a sign of love received or sent from people we care about. Flowers brighten our days because the blossoming of a flower triggers the sense that something special is coming because it triggers dopamine. I love and appreciate receiving flowers but I don’t always wait for my loved ones to buy me flowers, it almost equally feels good when I get some for myself and so I don’t hesitate doing exactly that.

12. Overspending on beauty products and services. I haven’t gone to the extreme of cosmetic surgeries but when it’s about beauty, I have to get the best and I ignore the cost and time spent because I can’t be walking with a mediocre look or products. I either have it or I don’t.

13 Popping pimples is the last one I’ll mention and I just cannot explain it unless you also do it and so you do understand. I hope acne is not listening to me right now.

Prioritize your emotional and mental health by practicing self-care.Most of the times we fight to get rid of the guilty pleasures but I think its important to recognize that we are only human and guilt is normal. It is important to reflect on why you feel guilty and if it’s actually harmful to you and would greatly negatively affect your future, you might consider being moderate on the same or swap them with healthy ones. In the meantime enjoy the pleasure they bring about and combat shame associated with them as you work on yourself. The goal is self love and a rich life.

Always a pleasure knowing you stopped by,

Cheers.

Are you too skeptical?

Thank you for stopping by and making this girl a little confident.

I have been on my computer the whole day searching and reading funny things like I always do until this unconfident feeling popped up and thought I should talk to a few of us who might be having this kind of feeling.

Did you know everyone has problems and as long as you are focused you definitely have to worry about them? yes I thought so.

It is absolutely okay not to be okay, it is very normal to worry and feel you are not enough even to your own self and it is by no means a way to feel embarrassed. Recently I went to visit a friend who was hospitalized over a ‘scary’ condition and as we conversed I could see she didn’t know how to react to the condition at the moment.’What next? how do I fix my feelings?should I give up?’ etc questions were written all over her face and I felt disturbed by how she felt she is the only human who didn’t have a single answer to something she ought( according to her) to have had a solid plan and well organised thoughts about. I’m not sure I helped a little by what I said, but I know it is okay to have no idea and she was acting normal. It is only wrong to think you are alone.

There is this thing we should walk with; hope and a little self confidence in oneself. I somehow believe with the two even if things are not working out or are falling apart you will have a little energy to push several more times.

No one has a smooth life, everyone struggles and not all of us know how to deal with them and that is absolutely okay. Can you also keep it in mind that everyone has a chance to make their lives better? You can definitely defy on the odds, you are different and you’ve got your own strengths. Keep your head high and face each situation with calmness and a little confidence.

To all skeptical souls, successful people look like you.

Miss curiosity.

How much do you know about procrastination

I’m literally the best version of my own best friend, I talk to myself in all tones, warn or congratulate myself, share inside jokes with myself and laugh out loud, I mean, I literally act like I am two persons within me. It’s been raining the whole night here and I woke up to a very ‘ugly’ weather out there and talked to my friend within me told her she doesn’t have to face it I can still be productive at home (watching series, write something, clean up my space and stare at the world from my window).

Have you ever sat down to perform some task and suddenly found yourself checking if the dog is fed, what series in new on netflix, who is live on instagram or stand up to dust your kitchen surfaces and end up not finishing your task? I don’t know about you but I have always postponed a number of things including my dream. Are you comfortable realizing that this is failure of self regulation?

Well, the only thing I haven’t mentioned is that I had a plan for today which obviously has been postponed and this got me thinking how much do I really know about PROCRASTINATING. Most of us postpone or avoid tasks intentionally for hopefully good reasons like you are not sure, need more information or fear making mistakes which can be avoided by buying more time or you are ready to face the negative consequences rather than doing what you are uncomfortable with, but how about when these intentional delays become habitual? This is a common human experience which includes even putting off salient tasks that may cost us a lifetime.However, to some extent it is normal to procrastinate especially because you will prioritize less time consuming or easier tasks on truly valued tasks which involves a lot of research and decision making.

Anxiety is my major reason for procrastinating. Damn!! that thing literally makes me stop thinking and as the deadline for the task gets closer I get stressed and mostly procrastinate further to avoid this stress. Good thing I know I’m not alone and I still know that that doesn’t make me right. However, anxiety will cause people to delay only if they are not impulsive and therefore if we are on the team trying to stop procrastinating impulsiveness should be our focus.

Cognitive dissonance is another reason why people procrastinate where we are constantly seeking internal psychological consistency by reducing the contradiction triggered by our personal beliefs and the perceived new information about a task or plan. Other people procrastinate because they are perfectionists and keep on criticizing their work, have plenty of time or just for fun where the procrastinator would rather be doing anything fun except that one dreaded task.

I should be allowed (by who though?) to say as simple as the word might sound it is a mysterious force that keeps people from completing urgent and important tasks in their lives for no compelling reasons and may bring adverse effects to us in this generation where the world is so competitive and every missed opportunity is actually lost due to high demand. We need to be impulsive and better decision makers when it comes to things that really matter to us like academic assignments, appointments, important meetings, health related matters, opportunities etc. While your peers are progressing, prolonged procrastination can lead to procrastinators going through social stigma as a result of the belief that task-aversion is caused by laziness, lack of willpower or low ambition. In turn, this may lead to severe negative impacts such as depression, low self esteem and insomnia.

Good news is that you can reduce procrastination by being aware of your habits that make you to postpone tasks, better time management, self evaluation by understanding your strengths and weaknesses, discipline, setting realistic goals and tackling tasks in bits that are manageable to you keeping time in mind.

I would like you to check something quite interesting about procrastination by Tim Urban (master procrastinator), who runs the blog Wait But Why. He created a comic with Simpsons explaining inside the brain of a procrastinator here http://waitbutwhy.com/2013/10/why-procrastinators-procrastinate.html and also gave a TED Talk https://www.ted.com/talks/tim_urban_inside_the_mind_of_a_master_procrastinator?language=en where he talks about how he did not begin writing a thesis until 72 hours before it was due.

“So the weather became beautiful huh!” my best friend is asking cause I’m headed out to start it.

Procrastination is the thief of time; year after year it steals until all are fled.

Edward Young, Night thoughts on Life, Death and Immortality I, 1, 393

Miss curiosity.

Things that annoy me

I took a break from writing because something bad happened and I couldn’t get a minute to write but I’m back hope you all missed me.

Before I pen down the long list of things that I consider annoying I’m already annoyed because I woke up excited today did my morning routine and attended a successful appointment. On my way back just opposite where I stay I decided to have my car washed but fuck! on alighting I dropped my beautiful, beautiful A50 which I really treasure and broke the screen if you know how painful that feels. What the fudge! I left almost crying but there is nothing much I could do I just thought it is the perfect day to write about the things that suck.

People who are always in your inbox writing hey, hi, how are you everyday, three times a day, whole week, through the month. Come on! It’s not like I don’t appreciate people who are concerned about my well being but hey! check our relationship and give me time to attend to other important things after all the answer is always I’m okay even when I’m not so cut down the crap and do genuine and reasonable checking ins on people.
Lack of Etiquette. what does it cost to show conventional decorum and just being polite? You can still raise yourself up if you missed those codes of polite social life, by practicing them. It is not hard at all I promise. I believe etiquette makes us human enough and EVERYBODY needs it. Incase you are wondering what are those petty things that are stressing me they include; I’m sorry, excuse me, Please, thank you etc.
I get so annoyed when people line up in long queues only to reach at the service point then start deciding what they wanted. Honestly what could you be busy thinking all that long until you forget you are standing for something? Just go back and come prepared. Queues suck too.
This one is kinda funny but sucks. Those people who make loud calls in public what’s usually your point? Can’t those calls wait if you have no lower tone than that? Shortly before the pandemic I happened to be at an airport and witnessed some guy dragged by security because he was shouting on phone and heading the opposite direction from the rest of the crowd. Trust me the guy had not committed any crime but the behaviour was suspicious. No one is interested in your conversation or want to be involved keep it private please
People who don’t rinse off the bathroom after use. How the hell do you leave a bathroom with hair all over or foam on walls and feel clean yourself, who raised you human? It is totally disgusting and so uncomfortable for the next user for hygiene sake.
Can we also talk about how people don’t find it necessary letting a door close slowly or hold a door for a second for the next person when they are so close. Damn! it sucks slamming doors and worse doing it when the person behind you is two steps away. Please!
As a host I would also like to advice you to keep your comments while in someones house if they aren’t compliments or positive comments. They annoy and are absolutely unnecessary I promise. Everyone has their own rules, liking and procedures at their houses.
Back to phones, now that we use them all the time It doesn’t make sense leaving someone over 10 missed calls within hours or a day. If the person wants to call back be sure one or two missed calls will be seen. Thanks
People who show a lot of intimacy and affection to their partners in public I’m not sure I come from a rural set up but I don’t find it something pleasant. There is some word called privacy and I think such things fit in there. We have kids and non-interested people watching you kindly save it for later.
This one I also do sometimes but sorry I shouldn’t cause it annoys.While having a conversation it is rude and it sucks interrupting without excusing yourself. In addition to that it doesn’t feel right completing peoples sentences unless the speaker gives room for that. let people express themselves fully and in their own way. Thanks.

I know my list could go on and on but let me leave it at that for today.

Yours Miss Curiosity,

cheers!

Generosity

It is a good morning from my end,

I have heard this word a number of times especially during this pandemic and thought I should pen down something I know about it. There could be several definitions but I strongly attach other words at the back of my mind when I let the word out of my mouth; charity, empathy, kindness, responsibility, selflessness and abundance. Clearly generosity entails being liberal in giving and in most cases not expecting anything in return.

Examples of things people can offer or receive as acts of generosity are;

Gifts

Time

Assets

Money

Knowledge

Listening

Gratitude

Acceptance

the list can go on,

If I may brag a little bit I always think being human enough generosity is not a debatable topic everyone should be generous like me( winks). This lead me to questioning, why is it so? what’s the drive behind generosity? is there a measure of generosity? what’s the cost of generosity?So I recently started analyzing how and what it feels like to people and my personal thoughts when we practice the acts of generosity and these are a few things I was able to come up with.

listening and time are limitless valuable acts of generosity because it takes patience, prioritizing, consciousness and continuous attention to give or get them.

Money and assets are a ‘feel good’ kind of acts which means they mostly involve emotions and nothing attached to abundance as most people think or would expect.

Acceptance and gratitude is more of acknowledging virtual largeness in a person and being liberal in giving it away. It is also the act that allows people do things not because they agree but because of the human spirit and open-mindedness.

Gifting is an interesting kind of an act of generosity because it is a gift itself and it’s also a selfish act because it is done to acquire freedom of meanness or smallness of character to show close familiarity or friendship (intimacy) a key that unlocks the power of authenticity. It is also an emotional act and to be precise it should be positive emotions.

Sharing knowledge or skill as an act of generosity is the best kind of thing to do because you are directly influencing persons and giving them power right at that moment and in their future. it mainly involves abundance, sense of leadership and competitiveness in making the world a better place.

How many times have I mentioned the word generosity huh! don’t get tired yet cause I’m about to ask you to start a #generosity. Kidding! I was taking a break to give you time to go through the questions I had above cause I’m about to pull some sense out of them and here we go.

I’m not a religion inclined person so I prefer leaving the religious answers to the questions above for thise who can and do it in a more basic and scientific way. Scientific investigations used to examine generosity on individuals conclude that it has potential links to neurochemicals such the love hormone (oxytocin) and similar feelings (virtues).In my perusals I came across a very interesting research by Paul J. Zak published in Library of Science (please go read about it) where they used the popular Dictator Game and Ultimatum Game to measure generosity and this what they concluded;

-generosity is an offer greater than the minimum amount needed for acceptance

-the Love Hormone increases generosity by 80%, ~~so you better increase your levels of the hormone soon enough~~

-Higher- income individuals are less generous that than poorer people (Giving money as an act of generosity) ~~and that doesn’t mean you stop making a lot of money because you want to become more generous~~

As mentioned earlier I associate generosity to charity which is supposed to be purely without expectations unfortunately most people do it for recognition, publicity or actually as a means to shield behind their vices. I will share this link for you to read The hidden costs of generosity written by Conrad De Aenlle in 2010 https://www.nytimes.com/2010/11/24/your-money/24iht-nwgift.html and 5 Acts of generosity that will transform Your life by ChimpChange in 2017 https://www.chimpchange.me/2017/11/5-acts-of-generosity-that-will-transform-your-life-and-others/ to help you become a better human.

Misscuriosity,