13 Guilty pleasures I can’t easily stop indulging in

Coffee is considered by many to be a guilty pleasure for health reasons. Guilty pleasures are actually not bad habits to our own selves but are considered to be advisable to stop because they are normally things that are considered weird or unexpected. We enjoy doing them because they bring positive emotions and improve your well being.

1. Sleeping in late. This is my new norm since I started working. It just doesn’t feel right waking up before 8 in the AM on weekends, holidays or off-days. That brunch feels so right and calming. Sometimes I stay in bed the whole day and although sometimes it gives me anxiety being in bed while everyone else is out and about I must admit it also feels like a privilege at the same time.

Photo from the Internet

2. Watching true crime and solving serial killer documentaries, podcasts or movies before answer is revealed. It’s easy to spend hours watching outlandish things , but not quite as simple to explain these hobbies to your loved ones. I’m absorbed by true crime and I want to understand what drives them and the next possible action, what it is like being involved in that but you realize this isn’t justice to my mind at times due to tension and anxiety but well, I love spending hours watching and or listening to such.

Photo from the Internet

3. Eating a gallon of ice cream. I understand indulging in a bunch of ice cream is a popular shameful delight but I cant compare it with the mood it strikes in me. Ice cream is an instant happy mood booster and the sugar in it tells me I can do all things without my past haunting me. I literally have zero stress after eating ice cream.

Photo from the Internet

4. Listening to someone with an accent. That being just an example, I find it intriguing to listen and pronounce words in their original accents. I’ll be repeating after someone in silence as they talk to me and engage them more to just have them talking all through. “Iliwa chingu” in the very informal and impolite from my Korean friend gets me just happy and exited all through the chit chat.

5. Listening to a catchy song on repeat. This one! This weeks obsession is Taylor Swifts’, Anti-Hero. While playing songs on repeat for weeks might seem unusual to most people, some songs just grab my soul and threaten me if I don’t play loops of the same song and know every line, pitch and pauses in the song. I’m playing that song at work, while cooking, in the bathroom, on the road and as background sound while sleeping. I acknowledge the captivity that comes with it.

6. Online shopping. It’s very common to do online shopping in this century regardless of it still being considered unusual by other people but do you spend hours and effort researching products of your taste and price only to add them to cart but never purchase them? My peers tell me most online stuff do not give the satisfaction as the ones you get to physically choose and no I actually don’t understand them cause I’m hardly going to experience the outcome of online shopping.

7. Do I consider the cost of online food delivery? Despite paying too much to have a fast food which is considered unhealthy, there is convenience in pulling a list of nearby restaurants and by just a click someone comes knocking with your food is here greetings. Saving the time you spend to cook for an extra hour of sleep or one extra episode is something too.

8. Reading celebrity drama and reality shows. We all agree reality shows are not real it’s acting but there is fun in watching the drama build up and the different personalities reaction to everyday life. Its more fun when it’s a celebrity involved because already we have a certain perspective and expectations from them. So yes there is juice in their dramas especially those that aren’t for chasing clout.

Photo from the Internet

9. Procrastinating. I have done a blog about how much I know about procrastination here https://wwwruthogutu.design.blog/2020/07/07/how-much-do-you-know-about-procrastination/ and I’d tell you I haven’t done a lot since then due to procrastination and I’ll admit that despite the panic, anxiety and fear that comes with it, I still postpone a lot with lots of excuses and funny justifications to my actions.

10. Drinking on a weeknight. I find it fun and more enjoyable when I’m drinking on odd days and odd hours like a Tuesday evening. I wouldn’t overdo it but just enough is differently good and makes me feel elated. I must admit this could be detrimental and I’m very cautious to not have a routine that accommodates this but after a very long day at work a glass of wine can do wonders.

Photo from the Internet

11. Buying flowers for myself. Agreeably noted flowers are a sign of love received or sent from people we care about. Flowers brighten our days because the blossoming of a flower triggers the sense that something special is coming because it triggers dopamine. I love and appreciate receiving flowers but I don’t always wait for my loved ones to buy me flowers, it almost equally feels good when I get some for myself and so I don’t hesitate doing exactly that.

12. Overspending on beauty products and services. I haven’t gone to the extreme of cosmetic surgeries but when it’s about beauty, I have to get the best and I ignore the cost and time spent because I can’t be walking with a mediocre look or products. I either have it or I don’t.

13 Popping pimples is the last one I’ll mention and I just cannot explain it unless you also do it and so you do understand. I hope acne is not listening to me right now.

Prioritize your emotional and mental health by practicing self-care.Most of the times we fight to get rid of the guilty pleasures but I think its important to recognize that we are only human and guilt is normal. It is important to reflect on why you feel guilty and if it’s actually harmful to you and would greatly negatively affect your future, you might consider being moderate on the same or swap them with healthy ones. In the meantime enjoy the pleasure they bring about and combat shame associated with them as you work on yourself. The goal is self love and a rich life.

Always a pleasure knowing you stopped by,

Cheers.

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November

November is the eleventh and penultimate month of the year in the Julian and Gregorian Calendars.

1st November- All Saints’ Day

World Kindness Day – November 13, 2022. U.S.

WDR – Held every third Sunday of November for road traffic victims. This year’s theme being JUSTICE; Remember. Support. Act.

November 24 is Thanksgiving Day (U.S.).

November 28 is also the First Sunday of Advent.

This month is represented by Chrysanthemum flower, Citrine and Topaz birthstone and the people born during this month to around mid December are Sagittarius and Scorpio according to the western zodiac signs.

Photo from the Internet

That’s just some little information I collected from the internet. Interestingly, November can be a fantastic time for a vacation in Kenya. I have been feeling in the mood for a vacation recently because everything around me is giving that energy. The weather is warm, it rains somedays and others it is completely sunny. The sun is moderate and the rains don’t last long either. Most trees and other plants are blossomed, recently planted crops are also already sprouting and the vegetation in parks and forests is thick. The tourist numbers are moderate, kids are still going to schools and the cost of vacationing is much less expensive than the summertime when hotels and airlines are charging peak rates.

How I want to talk about the Kenyan coastline in this month is perfectly said through vision but just to mention this is the month when the Mombasa Carnival gets underway on the coast. Celebrated every November, the Mombasa Carnival is a folk festival that honors Kenyan culture. It is held near the Indian Ocean in Mombasa and runs for several days. Artists, dancers, musicians, and people from different cultures and tribes flock the event to take part in the concerts that make up one of Kenya’s largest annual events.

There are plenty of activities you could also enjoy in the coast such as snorkeling, swimming, surfing, and sea kayaking. However, in this month beaches are covered with water and therefore not a good idea to try any of the activities.

Photo from the Internet

Outside the coast, the capital city is a great place to be at as there is plenty of both indoors and outdoor activities. The lakes, parks and other tourist attraction places in other counties are definitely a great choice to consider for a vacation too. (I’ll give a review of the most famous places and recommendations in another blog post).

It’s mid November but I’m already full and thankful for the month. Hope yours is an easy one too.

Thank you for stopping by,

Cheers!!

Emptiness

“We become aware of the void as we fill it.” _Antonio Porchia

Feeling so empty inside? This feeling is worse than physical pain because at this moment you have lost your true self, you are neither sad or happy just empty.

However, depending on how you choose to carry yourself as you walk through the feeling, emptiness can turn out really great because it is a reservoir of endless opportunities. Believe me you don’t need to immerse yourself into activities that will take away the feeling because you actually need it so just walk through it, but this time be aware of the human shaped emptiness filling your brain and body.

An empty mind could be lucky if a good idea comes to enter inside unlike a full mind receiving a good idea. All I’m saying is, feeling empty sometimes is good especially after moments of suffering, big decisions or letting go of major parts of us because it enables us to tap into our truest depths and have new beginnings.

I hope you daintily walk through your emptiness.

Cheers.

Patience

Good morning,

Egyptian starcluster

A couple of days ago I almost uprooted some two plants from my backyard because I had lost hope of reviving them after watering each for about a week and they still kept wilting. I concluded that they needed replacement.

I haven’t checked them in about three days and today morning my heart is full seeing how beautiful they have regained and even blossomed. This reminded me that we all deserve a second chance and a little more patience is always worth.

Madagascar periwinkle

Cheers

Marriage Advice

If I was a marriage counselor

Is the goal of being married happiness? I guess yes. Are you working for your relationship or is the relationship working? Are you loving together or living together? Is your partner supposed to elevate you, push you to become better or just complement you? I will not forget to ask if we are changing for our relationships or we are staying true to ourselves, Joe.

Marriage ends in divorce if it doesn’t last. Fact. The nature of marriage is that you are supposed to say yes and maintain the decision before you get handed over the list of the things you said yes to. Worse, you’re made to say vows that will confine you in that bullshit incase you think otherwise when you find out it’s actually one.

Seven out of ten marriages fail and couples still hope they’re among the three yet everything they do is just like what the rest are doing. Leaves me wondering why people are still getting married anyway.

A Kenyan afro-pop band by the name Sautisol in one of their hit songs said that, in a world where women are looking for men who have emotion, it’s easy to meet men who have a lot of money instead. While women get away with good physique at the expense of character. What are the odds that you will get the right person with the right qualities?

There is a man somewhere who cannot handle their personal care such as hygiene, grooming, orderliness, cleanliness or even tracking of time in a day but they think they are ready to get married and ridiculously have kids. No, you need superpowers as his wife to babysit him and the kids or else the marriage will become a foreign concept to you.

Most weddings I attend look like it cost my whole year budget or more. One of the most important skills we all need in life is the ability to manage yourself financially. I’m just figuring out if I’d fit in the bracket if I’m going to spend my three years savings in a day to feed people and pay for decor. In short, weddings are expensive and if you’re not rich it might do you more harm than good. Let’s not even talk about the cost of building homes and daily expenditure to raise a family. Why would you hate being single anymore?

Communicate respectfully until you’re no longer taken seriously. Then you can just become the disrespecter of disrespect like you ought to.

Never invalidate one another in marriage. It changes how they feel about themselves and inturn how they feel about you. Move on from arguments or if possible just never argue. If you can’t do this move on.

A partner is reliable if they can come through for you at all times in everything. Period. It’s your duty to make your partner feel safe and secure. As a man if you don’t hit the gym don’t get married cause how will you beat men who are after your woman? As a woman if you don’t stock your fridge with food stay single. No man is staying in a house without food. It’s scary sis.

Compromise and never give up. Isn’t this what old couples told you on your wedding day? I’m willing to understand to what extent and or where we draw the line or it’s literally a no go zone even if you’re burning and everything is shitty in your marriage.

Assume the best of one another and remember your commitment, is one thing I totally agree with until your S/O stops doing the same.

It’s often said that marriage is a scam but you choose to believe they married the wrong person and with your right person, you will be among the three out of ten marriages. However, just to be safe, in your vows please remember to say yes till disrespect sets in and or I no longer feel safe.

But I am not a marriage counselor

Best of luck.

Clean conscience

Congratulations for having a desire not to be unscrupulous. Let’s unearth our assumptions and take our time to think through decisions. This is a worthy goal.

Our conscience is a ‘moral muscle’. It is the standard we use to judge whether or not our actions are ethical. I specifically want to address the importance of having a clean conscience which is a feel free of guilt or responsibility to your actions.

The law of conscience states that every man in the State may follow the will of God and, from a conscious- ness of duty and free from every obstacle, obey His commands. Basically this law explains a personal sense of the moral content of one’s own conduct, intentions, or character with regard to a feeling of obligation to do right or be good.

 For about a week or two I have battled thoughts of the importance of having a clear conscience and what actually that means to me and my environment. You might consider getting to understand Conscience as pluralistic, neutral and subjective, Conscience as self-knowledge and self-assessment, Conscience as motivation to act morally and conscience as self-identifying moral commitments, and moral integrity which are all types of conscience and has been given different interpretations throughout history. It has been done so on the basis of morality, state of mind, religious or political purposes.

This makes the whole understanding of conscience lack uniformity and clarity. However, when conscience is demystified it brings out proper meaning because it tends to elicit reverence rather than questions or an interest.

When a person says that ‘At least now I can face him with a clear conscience’, it means that their appeal to conscience replaces reason giving and is made with the expectation that no further reason for one’s decisions and positions is requested.

In our daily interactions, we often find ourselves guilt tripped because we tend to be less cognitive of the process that elicits emotion and rational associations based on our own moral philosophy. Once you are self aware of your unique thoughts, memories, feelings, sensations, and environments it is easy to let yourself feel free of guilt and also let go of things that you’re not in control as long as you are on a clean slate. It also gives us the power to predict outcome before we act on anything. This should feel like an inner drive to think comprehensively and choose our actions at all times to enable us achieve peace of mind which is the greatest gift of life.

Lastly, it is important to also understand that your conscience can be wrong, in which case you are still responsible, but it is still the foundation of morality.

Cheers,

TIME’S UP

I was on my socials today, passed by some post asking about things that should be extinct by now. I totally agree with a few of them and some that also bug me a lot .Why in 2022 should we still be dealing with such?

Convenience fees for paying bills online. Why am I paying a ‘print at home’ fee after having paid for the ticket itself? I’ll definitely go for cash transactions because why am I paying convenience fee for cashing a check. Most annoying part is where some outlets don’t accept cash payments. This is definitely for their convenience not mine. Sounds like illegal fee to me.

Junk mail. It’s a waste and I cannot comprehend the amount of resources used to transport all the waste. I understand that its common in countries like the US and Canada and it’s a source of employment to people but I find it more like doing a lot of unnecessary work to create work which does not add actual value to the society. Sending junk mail should honestly be a crime by now.

Region locked content. I honestly don’t even understand why this has to happen. Someone needs to educate me because if it’s about currency or not getting enough clients or such, something can always be done to compensate I guess. It sucks that I cant get access to what I want to watch just because of where I live in.

Fake pockets on girls pants. Honestly yes. I get excited when I’m buying pants especially slim fit pants and find out they have real pockets because I feel it’s a big injustice to have pants with fake or faux pockets because they don’t serve the purpose. However there is an interesting history about the women’s pockets that you might want to check out.

Stickers that are hard or impossible to remove. Can bookstores stop ruining books with big awful stickers they slap on pages. I have severally used utensils with those silly glue residue from stickers that don’t come off nicely first time after cleaning. My friend told me that the stickers on fruits are food grade I can eat them but hey! No way I’m actually going to swallow plastic or paper down my throat comfortably because someone had to tell me the country of origin for my apples.

Or we are eating them because we paid for the stickers? (laughs hard)

Pop up ads. Very few people are persuaded by ads in 2022. Nobody cares about what companies want except themselves. I know we are all making money for YouTube and other browsers through those cookies pop ups but, is it necessary to give me a double 15s unskippable ad while watching a two minute video?

Forty hour work weeks. We should be able to work for any amount of time in a day as long as you are able to. My productive brain power is averagely about 6 hours a day. I spend the rest of the day doing my own stuff or making mistakes. It would be easy and so efficient if we worked like 6 hours, 4 days a week to allow for rebooting and engage in other mind development activities.

The world. Wasn’t the world supposed to end in 2012 after collision with another planet? or we are actually living in the matrix. Don’t we all want another world or explore Mars? I mean, we have exhausted the earth and I’m ready for something new.

Cheers,

Miss curiosity.

Overrated/underrated statements

‘There is a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in’.

Leonard Cohen.

Many people throw words and sentences without considering the effect it will have on the receiving end. I have a few of them that I get to hear over and over again and hopefully you choose your words and tone carefully next time you use any of them if you agree with me.

I’m sorry. Please don’t ever use this phrase when you’re not sincerely sorry, you don’t accept that you were on the wrong, you don’t intend to change the cause that necessitated your apology or say it twice over the same mistake. Please don’t because you’re not sorry and it causes more harm.

You always have a choice. No you don’t always have a choice. For instance you don’t get to choose whether to murder or let people who make your life miserable to live. You’re spoilt of choice in this case but the law says otherwise. Also we all have to agree that some things are beyond what we can comprehend and hence you don’t have a choice.

BF: Why did you breakup with me?

GF: You’re constantly hurting me and you left me no choice.

See?😉😉🤒

Winners don’t make excuses. So you’re told this by parents growing up, teachers in junior school, college, at work, in your own business and at the gym. The only thing they forgot to tell you is that if you don’t make excuses they’ll not have the opportunity to give you a reason to keep pushing you so you’ll automatically win.

Loyalty is a two way street. You cannot be loyal to someone who is disloyal to you. You cannot expect loyalty from someone who doesn’t know whether you’re loyal to them or not. Once loyalty is in question it’s not given in return. There is no other better to say this.

You don’t know about tomorrow. Well, you cannot take in shit just because you don’t know what will happen if you stop taking shit. Stop tolerating disrespect in your jobs, relationships or from anything for fear of tomorrow. Tomorrow is Friday buddy and guess what? Tomorrow will still come regardless of your state so what exactly are you waiting for? Don’t let the fear of the unknown make you miserable. Face it.

For as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he. Our mouths speak what the heart is full of. The power of thoughts and inclinations of the heart shape the reality of who you are. It doesn’t matter what you read or hear if your mind doesn’t change, you will simply impose your biases and labels on everything which will ultimately shape your actions. I cannot overemphasize this.

You are an average of your closest circle of people. Personally I think this phrase is used to encourage people to surround themselves with right and like minded people not necessarily because they all will contribute so much to who you become. Some of us never have constant people in our lives so maybe we are an average of every stranger we meet weekly or we are anomalous. Sometimes your closest circle sucks and you’re around them by circumstances not by choice. They will have close to zero influence on who you become.

Life is hard. There is nothing hard about life. Someone has already done what you’re doing now, so why don’t you just keep breathing and live up to your potential, be the best version of you and see life lead you. Life is only hard if you are working against time or competing with it and your mindset about the same.

Believe in yourself. It takes people who are well equipped (in different aspects like skills, finances, drive, mindset, knowledge, timing etc.) to understand these words otherwise they remain mare words to the rest. A lot of factors are put in place to turn those words into an action. Unfortunately most people think you need to just say them and get going. Where are you headed john?

I understand. No you don’t. Anything that involves feelings you can never understand. Unless you have been in the very same situation and all other factors are kept constant. Please tell someone you can relate and then proceed with your advice or the conversation. The only time we use these words is when you’re taking instructions, are knowledgeable about something or it’s facts.

You can become whatever you want. No dear, chances of you becoming the President of The United States of America is close to zero if not zero already. I’m not rude, just logical. Apart from hard work and luck, there are numerous factors that will lead you into or out of your passion.

Thanks for stopping by.