When two people engage in various things for purposes of finding possibility of being intimate partners thereafter they normally describe the situation as dating. Which leaves me thinking what about those who do the same things without a purpose, is it still dating?
It starts with attraction in dating but on the other hand some people go on dates to eat, explore new places and activities, and sometimes to pass time when they have plenty of it.
It takes time for relationships to develop intimacy and form bonds before individuals decide to commit because dating basically lacks commitment, but sometimes, these human creatures instantly decide to “commit” because they can see a bright future in that relationship. I mean, it’s never dull having expensive treats, travelling opportunities, food from different cultures, precious gifts, a lot of sex and money. Don’t ask me what eyes they are using all I know is that a guy once told me he only had eyes for me on our first date.
Men and girls usually have this sweet ideas about their first dates and how they’d like subsequent dates done. I know you know what I mean right? My most classical one is movies and drinks because that doesn’t require me to dress up, pick a venue, select some activities that are supposed to be interesting or even leave the house. ‘How convenient! Come on miss’, what amuses you anymore in amusement parks, what coffee haven’t you had, what’s interesting in eating at a restaurant and staring at some decor that is not of your choice? Why is someone going to select some playlist at our game night that we both don’t know or even like?
My mentor told me drinks make you loosey-goosey and you won’t maintain the first impression you intend or ought to make. Movies will make you waste hours with a rando that you might actually end up hating because most likely they’ll keep talking especially whilst on the most heated parts of the movie. Some will be making strange eye contact because they’re trying to balance between watching and mastering your face.
My friend told me she went on a date last year just to see what the guy would pull on a first date not because she really wanted to know him. She complained about the soup, talked about her trashy exes, said she doesn’t like kids and kept showing him videos of the favourite moments she has documented over time . Yes, I was at their engagement party last Friday. He definitely had eyes for her alone if this eyes thing is a thing.
I grew up reading and hearing about the do’s and don’ts on first dates, cute ideas for dates, list of fun things to consider on dates, mistakes that can horribly spoil your date and those many well researched ideas you have in your head about a perfect date. I went for several dates in my early twenties having all these information actively at the back of my mind unsuccessfully until I met my perfect date who did not fit any of the many sentences I have typed.
I didn’t even have a first date. We were good weird friends who with time found meaningful and absolutely amazing reasons to give ourselves a chance to engage in a romantic relationship. One year down the line I lacked reasons as to why it couldn’t be a YES.
- A perfect date shouldn’t be defined in any particular way in my opinion.
- There is no formula or list that one must check to turn a date into a relationship.
- First impression does not always matter. I mean, doctors have told you your patient is in bad condition and might not make it but they’re still around right? Maybe it matters in an interview because those guys are there to judge you not to know you.
- The stages of dating don’t have to be as you know.
Is summary, all I’m saying is don’t ‘date‘ it’s not even a thing. Sit at home and wait for your partner to come ready to marry you. I’m tired of confusing you when you already working so hard to run away from the single life and the message is home.
All the best love seekers.
Thank you for dropping by.