13 Guilty pleasures I can’t easily stop indulging in

Coffee is considered by many to be a guilty pleasure for health reasons. Guilty pleasures are actually not bad habits to our own selves but are considered to be advisable to stop because they are normally things that are considered weird or unexpected. We enjoy doing them because they bring positive emotions and improve your well being.

1. Sleeping in late. This is my new norm since I started working. It just doesn’t feel right waking up before 8 in the AM on weekends, holidays or off-days. That brunch feels so right and calming. Sometimes I stay in bed the whole day and although sometimes it gives me anxiety being in bed while everyone else is out and about I must admit it also feels like a privilege at the same time.

2. Watching true crime and solving serial killer documentaries, podcasts or movies before answer is revealed. It’s easy to spend hours watching outlandish things , but not quite as simple to explain these hobbies to your loved ones. I’m absorbed by true crime and I want to understand what drives them and the next possible action, what it is like being involved in that but you realize this isn’t justice to my mind at times due to tension and anxiety but well, I love spending hours watching and or listening to such.

3. Eating a gallon of ice cream. I understand indulging in a bunch of ice cream is a popular shameful delight but I cant compare it with the mood it strikes in me. Ice cream is an instant happy mood booster and the sugar in it tells me I can do all things without my past haunting me. I literally have zero stress after eating ice cream.

4. Listening to someone with an accent. That being just an example, I find it intriguing to listen and pronounce words in their original accents. I’ll be repeating after someone in silence as they talk to me and engage them more to just have them talking all through. “Iliwa chingu” in the very informal and impolite from my Korean friend gets me just happy and exited all through the chit chat.

5. Listening to a catchy song on repeat. This one! This weeks obsession is Taylor Swifts’, Anti-Hero. While playing songs on repeat for weeks might seem unusual to most people, some songs just grab my soul and threaten me if I don’t play loops of the same song and know every line, pitch and pauses in the song. I’m playing that song at work, while cooking, in the bathroom, on the road and as background sound while sleeping. I acknowledge the captivity that comes with it.

6. Online shopping. It’s very common to do online shopping in this century regardless of it still being considered unusual by other people but do you spend hours and effort researching products of your taste and price only to add them to cart but never purchase them? My peers tell me most online stuff do not give the satisfaction as the ones you get to physically choose and no I actually don’t understand them cause I’m hardly going to experience the outcome of online shopping.

7. Do I consider the cost of online food delivery? Despite paying too much to have a fast food which is considered unhealthy, there is convenience in pulling a list of nearby restaurants and by just a click someone comes knocking with your food is here greetings. Saving the time you spend to cook for an extra hour of sleep or one extra episode is something too.

8. Reading celebrity drama and reality shows. We all agree reality shows are not real it’s acting but there is fun in watching the drama build up and the different personalities reaction to everyday life. Its more fun when it’s a celebrity involved because already we have a certain perspective and expectations from them. So yes there is juice in their dramas especially those that aren’t for chasing clout.

9. Procrastinating. I have done a blog about how much I know about procrastination here https://wwwruthogutu.design.blog/2020/07/07/how-much-do-you-know-about-procrastination/ and I’d tell you I haven’t done a lot since then due to procrastination and I’ll admit that despite the panic, anxiety and fear that comes with it, I still postpone a lot with lots of excuses and funny justifications to my actions.

10. Drinking on a weeknight. I find it fun and more enjoyable when I’m drinking on odd days and odd hours like a Tuesday evening. I wouldn’t overdo it but just enough is differently good and makes me feel elated. I must admit this could be detrimental and I’m very cautious to not have a routine that accommodates this but after a very long day at work a glass of wine can do wonders.

11. Buying flowers for myself. Agreeably noted flowers are a sign of love received or sent from people we care about. Flowers brighten our days because the blossoming of a flower triggers the sense that something special is coming because it triggers dopamine. I love and appreciate receiving flowers but I don’t always wait for my loved ones to buy me flowers, it almost equally feels good when I get some for myself and so I don’t hesitate doing exactly that.

12. Overspending on beauty products and services. I haven’t gone to the extreme of cosmetic surgeries but when it’s about beauty, I have to get the best and I ignore the cost and time spent because I can’t be walking with a mediocre look or products. I either have it or I don’t.

13 Popping pimples is the last one I’ll mention and I just cannot explain it unless you also do it and so you do understand. I hope acne is not listening to me right now.

Prioritize your emotional and mental health by practicing self-care.Most of the times we fight to get rid of the guilty pleasures but I think its important to recognize that we are only human and guilt is normal. It is important to reflect on why you feel guilty and if it’s actually harmful to you and would greatly negatively affect your future, you might consider being moderate on the same or swap them with healthy ones. In the meantime enjoy the pleasure they bring about and combat shame associated with them as you work on yourself. The goal is self love and a rich life.

Always a pleasure knowing you stopped by,

Cheers.

Emptiness

“We become aware of the void as we fill it.” _Antonio Porchia

Feeling so empty inside? This feeling is worse than physical pain because at this moment you have lost your true self, you are neither sad or happy just empty.

However, depending on how you choose to carry yourself as you walk through the feeling, emptiness can turn out really great because it is a reservoir of endless opportunities. Believe me you don’t need to immerse yourself into activities that will take away the feeling because you actually need it so just walk through it, but this time be aware of the human shaped emptiness filling your brain and body.

An empty mind could be lucky if a good idea comes to enter inside unlike a full mind receiving a good idea. All I’m saying is, feeling empty sometimes is good especially after moments of suffering, big decisions or letting go of major parts of us because it enables us to tap into our truest depths and have new beginnings.

I hope you daintily walk through your emptiness.

Cheers.

Marriage Advice

If I was a marriage counselor

Is the goal of being married happiness? I guess yes. Are you working for your relationship or is the relationship working? Are you loving together or living together? Is your partner supposed to elevate you, push you to become better or just complement you? I will not forget to ask if we are changing for our relationships or we are staying true to ourselves, Joe.

Marriage ends in divorce if it doesn’t last. Fact. The nature of marriage is that you are supposed to say yes and maintain the decision before you get handed over the list of the things you said yes to. Worse, you’re made to say vows that will confine you in that bullshit incase you think otherwise when you find out it’s actually one.

Seven out of ten marriages fail and couples still hope they’re among the three yet everything they do is just like what the rest are doing. Leaves me wondering why people are still getting married anyway.

A Kenyan afro-pop band by the name Sautisol in one of their hit songs said that, in a world where women are looking for men who have emotion, it’s easy to meet men who have a lot of money instead. While women get away with good physique at the expense of character. What are the odds that you will get the right person with the right qualities?

There is a man somewhere who cannot handle their personal care such as hygiene, grooming, orderliness, cleanliness or even tracking of time in a day but they think they are ready to get married and ridiculously have kids. No, you need superpowers as his wife to babysit him and the kids or else the marriage will become a foreign concept to you.

Most weddings I attend look like it cost my whole year budget or more. One of the most important skills we all need in life is the ability to manage yourself financially. I’m just figuring out if I’d fit in the bracket if I’m going to spend my three years savings in a day to feed people and pay for decor. In short, weddings are expensive and if you’re not rich it might do you more harm than good. Let’s not even talk about the cost of building homes and daily expenditure to raise a family. Why would you hate being single anymore?

Communicate respectfully until you’re no longer taken seriously. Then you can just become the disrespecter of disrespect like you ought to.

Never invalidate one another in marriage. It changes how they feel about themselves and inturn how they feel about you. Move on from arguments or if possible just never argue. If you can’t do this move on.

A partner is reliable if they can come through for you at all times in everything. Period. It’s your duty to make your partner feel safe and secure. As a man if you don’t hit the gym don’t get married cause how will you beat men who are after your woman? As a woman if you don’t stock your fridge with food stay single. No man is staying in a house without food. It’s scary sis.

Compromise and never give up. Isn’t this what old couples told you on your wedding day? I’m willing to understand to what extent and or where we draw the line or it’s literally a no go zone even if you’re burning and everything is shitty in your marriage.

Assume the best of one another and remember your commitment, is one thing I totally agree with until your S/O stops doing the same.

It’s often said that marriage is a scam but you choose to believe they married the wrong person and with your right person, you will be among the three out of ten marriages. However, just to be safe, in your vows please remember to say yes till disrespect sets in and or I no longer feel safe.

But I am not a marriage counselor

Best of luck.

TIME’S UP

I was on my socials today, passed by some post asking about things that should be extinct by now. I totally agree with a few of them and some that also bug me a lot .Why in 2022 should we still be dealing with such?

Convenience fees for paying bills online. Why am I paying a ‘print at home’ fee after having paid for the ticket itself? I’ll definitely go for cash transactions because why am I paying convenience fee for cashing a check. Most annoying part is where some outlets don’t accept cash payments. This is definitely for their convenience not mine. Sounds like illegal fee to me.

Junk mail. It’s a waste and I cannot comprehend the amount of resources used to transport all the waste. I understand that its common in countries like the US and Canada and it’s a source of employment to people but I find it more like doing a lot of unnecessary work to create work which does not add actual value to the society. Sending junk mail should honestly be a crime by now.

Region locked content. I honestly don’t even understand why this has to happen. Someone needs to educate me because if it’s about currency or not getting enough clients or such, something can always be done to compensate I guess. It sucks that I cant get access to what I want to watch just because of where I live in.

Fake pockets on girls pants. Honestly yes. I get excited when I’m buying pants especially slim fit pants and find out they have real pockets because I feel it’s a big injustice to have pants with fake or faux pockets because they don’t serve the purpose. However there is an interesting history about the women’s pockets that you might want to check out.

Stickers that are hard or impossible to remove. Can bookstores stop ruining books with big awful stickers they slap on pages. I have severally used utensils with those silly glue residue from stickers that don’t come off nicely first time after cleaning. My friend told me that the stickers on fruits are food grade I can eat them but hey! No way I’m actually going to swallow plastic or paper down my throat comfortably because someone had to tell me the country of origin for my apples.

Or we are eating them because we paid for the stickers? (laughs hard)

Pop up ads. Very few people are persuaded by ads in 2022. Nobody cares about what companies want except themselves. I know we are all making money for YouTube and other browsers through those cookies pop ups but, is it necessary to give me a double 15s unskippable ad while watching a two minute video?

Forty hour work weeks. We should be able to work for any amount of time in a day as long as you are able to. My productive brain power is averagely about 6 hours a day. I spend the rest of the day doing my own stuff or making mistakes. It would be easy and so efficient if we worked like 6 hours, 4 days a week to allow for rebooting and engage in other mind development activities.

The world. Wasn’t the world supposed to end in 2012 after collision with another planet? or we are actually living in the matrix. Don’t we all want another world or explore Mars? I mean, we have exhausted the earth and I’m ready for something new.

Cheers,

Miss curiosity.

Overrated/underrated statements

‘There is a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in’.

Leonard Cohen.

Many people throw words and sentences without considering the effect it will have on the receiving end. I have a few of them that I get to hear over and over again and hopefully you choose your words and tone carefully next time you use any of them if you agree with me.

I’m sorry. Please don’t ever use this phrase when you’re not sincerely sorry, you don’t accept that you were on the wrong, you don’t intend to change the cause that necessitated your apology or say it twice over the same mistake. Please don’t because you’re not sorry and it causes more harm.

You always have a choice. No you don’t always have a choice. For instance you don’t get to choose whether to murder or let people who make your life miserable to live. You’re spoilt of choice in this case but the law says otherwise. Also we all have to agree that some things are beyond what we can comprehend and hence you don’t have a choice.

BF: Why did you breakup with me?

GF: You’re constantly hurting me and you left me no choice.

See?😉😉🤒

Winners don’t make excuses. So you’re told this by parents growing up, teachers in junior school, college, at work, in your own business and at the gym. The only thing they forgot to tell you is that if you don’t make excuses they’ll not have the opportunity to give you a reason to keep pushing you so you’ll automatically win.

Loyalty is a two way street. You cannot be loyal to someone who is disloyal to you. You cannot expect loyalty from someone who doesn’t know whether you’re loyal to them or not. Once loyalty is in question it’s not given in return. There is no other better to say this.

You don’t know about tomorrow. Well, you cannot take in shit just because you don’t know what will happen if you stop taking shit. Stop tolerating disrespect in your jobs, relationships or from anything for fear of tomorrow. Tomorrow is Friday buddy and guess what? Tomorrow will still come regardless of your state so what exactly are you waiting for? Don’t let the fear of the unknown make you miserable. Face it.

For as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he. Our mouths speak what the heart is full of. The power of thoughts and inclinations of the heart shape the reality of who you are. It doesn’t matter what you read or hear if your mind doesn’t change, you will simply impose your biases and labels on everything which will ultimately shape your actions. I cannot overemphasize this.

You are an average of your closest circle of people. Personally I think this phrase is used to encourage people to surround themselves with right and like minded people not necessarily because they all will contribute so much to who you become. Some of us never have constant people in our lives so maybe we are an average of every stranger we meet weekly or we are anomalous. Sometimes your closest circle sucks and you’re around them by circumstances not by choice. They will have close to zero influence on who you become.

Life is hard. There is nothing hard about life. Someone has already done what you’re doing now, so why don’t you just keep breathing and live up to your potential, be the best version of you and see life lead you. Life is only hard if you are working against time or competing with it and your mindset about the same.

Believe in yourself. It takes people who are well equipped (in different aspects like skills, finances, drive, mindset, knowledge, timing etc.) to understand these words otherwise they remain mare words to the rest. A lot of factors are put in place to turn those words into an action. Unfortunately most people think you need to just say them and get going. Where are you headed john?

I understand. No you don’t. Anything that involves feelings you can never understand. Unless you have been in the very same situation and all other factors are kept constant. Please tell someone you can relate and then proceed with your advice or the conversation. The only time we use these words is when you’re taking instructions, are knowledgeable about something or it’s facts.

You can become whatever you want. No dear, chances of you becoming the President of The United States of America is close to zero if not zero already. I’m not rude, just logical. Apart from hard work and luck, there are numerous factors that will lead you into or out of your passion.

Thanks for stopping by.

Secrets to being beautiful

I’ve come across a lot of people who don’t feel beautiful enough and to be honest it bothers me knowing very well I always feel like the Prettiest being existing in the era. I’m taking the chance to appreciate every person who has made another person feel adorable bacause that’s beautiful and so considerate of you. THANK YOU.

I’m also hoping you didn’t find this blog because you felt less beautiful but just wasn’t sure what should make you feel beautiful and I just happened to mention less than eight aspects to confirm your fears.

Smile; There is nothing pretty than your smile and that’s it, just smile . Do it more often and do it all the time

Love; Awwwn!! Who can even describe the feeling? Unless you’ve never fallen in love you should definitely recognise the beauty of being in love or just think about that special feeling you have for your mum.

Appreciate and be grateful ; Just ‘thank you’ is a whole beauty. All people who show that they’re grateful in anything are damn adorable and YES beautiful indeed.

Etiquette; Do I even need to remind humans that etiquette is a must tool for coexistence? You’re so pretty if you always and easily utter the ‘thank you’, ‘please’, ‘may I’, ‘excuse’ and those kind of words whenever you have interactions with fellow humans.

Be natural. Yes please be natural. Stop faking accents, smiles, voices or laughing at things that ain’t funny to you. Should be easier understanding when I put it like ‘be you?’ Thank you, everybody is damn pretty in their own versions and get it right that it sounds absurd and boring when you’re trying to duplicate someone else huh! We already have the original version and you know how it feels obvious redoing something.

Showering more than once in a day is pretty much an achievement and a luxury to most of us. You’re obviously more comfortable when you’re fresh and smelling some sweet body cologne, so why not? Invest in this you’ll not regret anytime soon.

Wear comfy clothes and shoes no matter how they look. I have to emphasise that oversize clothes don’t mean you’re looking funny or careless neither do exposing outfits mean you’re showing off and yes highlighting your beauty spots don’t mean you want attention.You’re absolutely right and right on track wearing anything that you feel free and comfortable in so do exactly that because it’s the Prettiest and easy thing to do.

Relax! you are damn beautiful! So far at my age I haven’t read an article or a book which describes beauty in some specific way and so I’m confident saying everyone is beautiful and yes YOU are beautiful why don’t you just relax enjoy or maybe explore the beauty within you.

‘Positive Thinking’

Good day, I never live by the theory of ‘Positive Thinking’. To live with Positive Thinking, is to live with unreal and delusional expectations that everything in life can be measured to how one idealises, without deliberating that one is not in control of anything outside of oneself. It sets a person up for a very high and hard fall whenever this ‘Positive Thinking’ fails to achieve the desired result.

It also perpetually leads to repeated errors, irresponsibility, poor judgement and calamity because everything negative is merely ignored and shut away as though it doesn’t exist. By shutting the negative side to life off, people find themselves caught in the Negative far more than they are in the Positive.

By never acknowledging and embracing that there is always a Negative side to Positive, one cannot establish the route to Positive without first learning why something is Negative in the first place and why it gives meaning to what is Positive, and why it is more valuable for us to be orientated towards Positive, for to ignore it means that anyone can mistake something Negative for being Positive, and confuse them until they lose all grasp on what is right and what is wrong. Eventually they find out when they’ve run themselves in to a dark rut for which it is remarkably difficult to climb out, if it hasn’t already destroyed itself.

The way to live is to be in the middle of them both. Equalised. To sit in the neutral position, but with a focus to be Positive. In other words, being Neutral-Positive.
If you can see the Negatives and know they exist, then one can tally, think, deliberate and ruminate about their values and come to a logical conclusion as to what desired decision and best course to take to reach a goal with the least amount of Negative resistance, calamity or obstruction but also, be prepared for when it does happen because the Negatives have been evaluated and recognised.

“Change your thoughts and you can change your world.” –Norman Vincent Peale

Small Things!

I’m about to go to bed but I just came across a post on Quora spaces -‘life is beautiful‘ posted by Rupam Gupta and I wanna share it with you to make sure no one feels like they have lesser chances in life.

Great things and small things. I dont know what that is supposed to mean anyway but fix it in your own world and words.

I know, I know, I actually saw you nodding. Let’s do it

Your fav #insomniacblueishlife

LIFE CARD III #20 Truths everyone should realize and accept in life.

Nothing is permanent in life.
You should only continue a job or business if you find a growth factor in it, otherwise leave it.
Travelling will give you a chance to learn a lot new things, try to travel often.
You have to deal with your own issues, it is no ones concern.
Talk less, listen more, be logical and be specific if you want to grow.
Your parents are the only persons who truly love you.
Always work to your fullest because hard work hardly fails and if does you have nothing to regret about.
Make it a habit to expect nothing from anyone because it will never disappoint.
For various reasons, you might fail in areas you have interests, talent and or ambition.
People will only like you if you align with them socially, politically, morally or religiously.
Every girl loves a gentle, caring, entertaining and stable guy.
People will forever judge you for your personal choices and most of them won’t like you for unclear reasons.
Contrary to the wishes and expectations relationships and marriage can be a lonely, loveless, cruel trap and bitter experience.
Life solves itself for people who can understand and incorporate it because it is layered in stages .
Real happiness comes from within a person and nothing visible. however small a thing might sound if it makes you happy do it more often.
Most people would rather take a path that is convenient than a path that’s economically viable.
Seeing a doctor might wreck havoc on your body, sometimes you need to find other options like treating yourself and/or assuming you are healthy.
Fear is the worst emotion that does damage that can be beyond repair but even worse it is kind of inevitable.
Children aren’t born innocent, some have inherently malicious characters. (Scary right?)
True love is something beyond money and body and it rarely exists simply because loving someone doesn’t mean they’ll love you back, you might have a lot of love and no one wants to receive it. Life hurts.
Don’t believe everything you hear or read, think by yourself. ( These are my truths dont believe all of them)
At the point you are about to create change you must feel a strong pressure.
Friendship paradox( I have talked about it in my previous posts but it simply states that your friend is more likely to have more friends than you do).
Optimistic people will always appreciate any idea or post they find helpful or refreshing.

While doing this list I have thought of other real things in life which I would like to share and let you figure them out.

(a). Do you actually know that we get stuck to people who take more from us than they give? Do you agree that they have valuable attention because they take it and never give therefore making us want to do it more cause we want to be consistent and be seen as such? Most of us live fulfilling expectations and consistency which is absurd. Try to be rational cause this is the only way to free yourself from manipulators.

(b) I know this sounds familiar but just a reminder why we should think deep and act it out. Do you know why we probably have the worst persons in the limelight? It is because they easily get a reason to do ‘it‘ and they act to their limited intellect unlike the smart ones who wouldn’t settle for less other than the perfect machine/tool ever available.Therefore those people that we see as best in certain things are actually not any better just that they are courageous in taking the right steps to do things.( Deep, right? I know, I know)

Enjoying #insomniacblueishlife? leave a mark to let me know you stopped by and/or you appreciate my war with the keyboard. Cheers!!

Miss Curiosity.

I’m back

I’ve taken quite a long break since I last posted because I couldn’t afford not to take one I really needed it, wanted it badly and actually deserved it huh!